Adagio
by DarthBirdie
Summary: Ayeka takes a moment to think about her past and her feelings about events as she listens to a piece of music.


Disclaimer: Tenchi Muyo is the property of AIC/Pioneer  
  
Adagio  
  
I think of Jurai. It is my duty as first princess to always remember  
Jurai and to dedicate my life to the empire. I love Jurai. I hate  
Jurai. I think of Jurai and feel great pride. I think of Jurai and  
recall my greatest pain.  
  
While looking through some old boxes I found an unexpected treasure.  
It appeared that Nobuyuki was not the only collector in the house.  
Yosho had a large collection of old phonograph records. I started to  
look through them until one caught my eye. I don't know what about it  
drew my attention, but when my hand touched it, it just seemed the most  
natural thing to take it. "Barber's Adagio for Strings" I had to play  
it.  
As I slid the record out of its cover a note fell out as well.  
Yosho's handwriting was immediately recognizable to me even though it  
looked as if his hand had been shaking as he wrote it.  
  
"On this day (the ink was smeared), Masaki Achika died.  
  
That sentence pains me more than any other wound possibly could. I  
must remain strong outwardly for Tenchi and Nobuyuki's sake, but  
inwardly I am screaming like an enraged warrior and a helpless child all  
at once. I felt like no one could understand my loss until I heard this  
piece. Listening to this I know that even though my grief is  
inconsolable, I am not alone."  
  
I started the recording and in my mind I was back on Jurai, just after  
Ryoko's attack. I stood looking at the destruction, staring in  
disbelief. I remember that even though people were screaming and  
running through the streets trying to put out the fires and save what  
lives they could, my world went silent.  
After that day I was no longer a child, too much had changed. I had  
seen death and knew it to be a pair of merciless green eyes. It was not  
until much later that I uncovered the true identity of those eyes. I  
had seen the 'invincible' Juraian army, that I had been told my entire  
life was the ultimate force in existence, helpless before a single  
enemy. I had lost my brother, my love, Yosho. It was too much. I  
refused to have that taken from me. My world had been ripped apart and  
I refused to give this last part of my naiveté.  
I do not resent the fact that when I return my life will be Jurai's and  
not my own. I am mortified and angry beyond words that I may have to do  
so alone. I went to Ryoko's cave and I realized how familiar it was, so  
cold, so lonely. I have been there thousands of times though I have  
only visited the cave near the Masaki shrine once.  
Alone. The word is hollow and intimidating, but the reality is far  
worse. I fear loneliness more than pain, more than death, more than  
love. Yes, I fear love. I try to tell myself that it is not true, that  
I love Sasami, that I understand the deep bond between us. I also know  
that is not the point. We are sisters and are connected through links  
of family, background, and all the other things you could name that we  
shared. That was why it seemed so safe to love Yosho. Husband yes, but  
also brother, so I had no reason to fear. My love could not be  
unrequited because he was genetically obligated to love me. How naive I  
was.  
Tension built as the piece moved towards its climax. The anger and  
betrayal was apparent in the melody that was both simple and complex. I  
was angered and betrayed. I took my sister and searched for seven  
hundred years to right the wrong I believed I had been dealt. I took  
Tenchi captive, and acted with bitter cruelty toward Ryoko. Through  
their actions I know that they have forgiven me but that does not make  
it right.  
As the song ends just as it began I realize that the pain will always  
be there. It is a part of my life and I would be unrecognizable without  
it. Without that pain I would not be worthy to rule Jurai. Of heaven  
and earth I was forged by that most hurtful fire, loss.  
  
Author's notes: I'd like to thank Jaf for prereading this and  
encouraging me.  
I wrote this in hopes of coming to have a better understanding of  
Ayeka's character. I also managed to work in one of my favorite pieces  
of music.  
  
C&C is welcomed  



End file.
